The Quirky Life of P

Humor and satire revolving around Mr P- a fictional mix of an avatar of Mr Bean and the veritable Bertram Wooster of Wodehouse fame.

Archive for the month “November, 2014”

Blood is thicker than water…

Oil, Meet Water

Of the people who are close to you, who is the person most unlike you? What makes it possible for you to get along?

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One cannot possibly expect

Anyone to look like P,

Or walk, talk and think like him,

As P is quirky in every respect!

 

Of all the people close to him,

In looks and total personality,

In thoughts and general disposition,

His sister is most unlike P.

 

Yet, he loves his sis and she loves him;

She could read his thoughts and he could hers,

And iron out their differences,

No grudge is left, then to nurse.

 

Like two sides of the same coin,

The differences do not matter

With the same worth of human values;

They get along like bread and butter;

May be, blood is thicker than water.

All the time…

No Time to Waste

Fill in the blank: “Life is too short to _____.” Now, write a post telling us how you’ve come to that conclusion. – Daily Prompt

 

P feels:

Life is too short, to worry about the past,

Or brood on what could have been,

Or fret on things that can’t change or last;

Yet at times, anxiety strikes unseen

And into deep despair, he is cast.

 

But a driving dose of Les Brown

And inspiring quotes, quite upbeat,

Then from his face, take off the frown

And get him back on his feet;

In melancholy, he refuses to drown.

 

Though to a quote by Stendhal, he cannot pay heed,

When he yawns and nods off on a balmy day;

For of haste, or hurry, he finds no need,

As he listens and watches sweet nature in play;

Time stands still, there’s all the time in the world indeed…

 

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P was heart-broken with all the rejection letters he was getting from his job applications. He put his feet up on the foot stool and stretched out on the deck chair in the verandah, ruminating on his efforts at finding a job (See https://avatarofmrbean.wordpress.com/2014/11/08/needing-experience-to-gain-experience/…). His coffee stood neglected on a side table. He was feeling very downhearted, considering that he once did have a job that he had left on a foolish whim to travel and see other parts of the world. He kept thinking on how things would have turned out only if he hadn’t been so impulsive. Was he wrong in thinking that life is too short to spend it just slogging away at work, not seeing other parts of this earth?

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He was slowly spiralling down into a whirlpool of self blame and depression when he remembered what a good friend used to tell him. He often used to say that P was rich! P’s bank balance was only a couple of dollars then, but George told him that he considered P to be very rich…  in life experiences… and that in China, they believed that when you die, your soul does not take anything with it, other than your experiences!

P tried to convince himself once again, as he muttered to himself that life is too short to spend brooding about the past.

His spirits slowly lifted up as he opened his laptop, and a whole lot of quotes on “Life is too short….” showed up on his search.

“Life is too short to work so hard” by Vivien Leigh,  was the one that he could very well connect with. It gave him the perfect excuse for having quit his job to see the world! That was not a foolish thing to do at all!

“Life is too short to worry about anything. You had better enjoy it because the next day promises nothing” by Eric Davis, was the other quote that made him take a conscious effort to shake off his melancholy.

“Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger” by Channing Tatum, tantalised P, but he decided to settle for the home-made coffee rather than drive to the nearest McDonald’s.

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“Life is too short to not savour every moment of it,” muttered P as he swirled his cup of coffee, inhaled in its aroma and took a little sip, savouring its flavour.

Slowly sipping his coffee, he relaxed totally in his deck chair, looking out into the garden where bees were humming amidst the lavender blooms  and flowers, and butterflies were flitting happily. A couple of magpies were watching something from their perch on the fence. He could even hear a kookaburra laughing, up above on a gum tree. He now felt he had all the time in the world ….

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P yawned and slowly nodded off in the balmy afternoon. His laptop was still open, showing a quote he had missed – “Life is too short, and the time we waste in yawning never can be regained.” by Stendhal

No good news…

Bad Signal

Someone’s left you a voicemail message, but all you can make out are the last words: “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you months ago. Bye.” Who is it from, and what is this about? – Daily Prompt

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Hearing just those words, threw him into a panic.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you months ago. Bye.”

Was all P could pick from the background static,

As he replayed his sister’s message, again and again.

 

Random thoughts through his spine sent a chill,

Had somebody beloved, passed away?

Was somebody beloved, terminally ill?

Or was it just he, who was in very deep trouble?  

 

He rang his sister who had just the other day,

Been for a visit and tidied up his home;

He was anxious to find what she had now to say,

He cringed as she told him what he needed to know.

 

“Oh! For months, I’ve meant to tell you,

 Do get rid of your old dressing gown!

It’s full of holes, go get something new;

And take to the Salvation Army in town,

The bag of old clothes, before they get mildew.”

 

For a deeper understanding of this post, please read my earlier one: https://avatarofmrbean.wordpress.com/2014/11/09/to-keep-the-change-or-not/ written in response to Daily Prompt – Let it Be.

To Keep the Change or Not…

Let It Be A restaurant that removed your favorite item from the menu, a bad cover of a great song… Write a post about something that should’ve been left untouched, but wasn’t. Why was the original better?- Daily Prompt

The moment P heard his sister was coming over for a visit, he had tried to put some order in the house. His sister did not appreciate P’s laid back views on life and his way of living. Every time she came over, she tried to help P and change things for him. To keep the change or not… was always P’s big dilemma. This time again when she came to stay for a couple of days, she went about moving the furniture around aesthetically and rearranging everything, to make the house more presentable. It all looked very nice by the end of her stay and on the last day P drove her to the train station in the evening and came back home.New Picture (23)

He opened the door and walked through the hallway, where now a potted plant welcomed him, instead of the usual shoe stand with its clutter of shoes. “Beautiful…” P muttered as he walked into the lounge room. The room had really been transformed and looked stunning. P thought his sister had a very good aesthetic sense and sighed at his lack of it.

After having walked around, appreciating his house, P decided to watch a game of cricket. Looking around for his old, fluffy and comfy house shoes, he couldn’t find them. He hunted them out from a bag that his sister had filled with stuff that had to go to the Salvation Army. He also brought out from the bag, other things that he was comfortable wearing and did not wish to part with, though his sister had thought them to be too old and worn out. He took them all to their previous places, and the shoe stand along with the clutter of shoes now came back next to the pot of flowers. Even to P’s eyes it looked incongruous but he shrugged his thoughts away. He needed the shoe stand with his selection of shoes right there before he went out every time.

Going to settle down and watch TV, he had to bring down a bundle of clothes that had been packed in a bag and stowed away in the attic to find his nice warm TV watching, pyjamas and change into them. Now dressed comfortably, he went to the lounge room. His easy chair that he used to stretch out on and watch TV was not there. He looked at the shiny, black, leather chairs arranged around a coffee table. Though the leather chairs looked nice, P was always happier on his old easy chair.  P went out to the verandah at the back and brought his easy chair into the lounge room and gave it its due position, moving the other furniture to their usual places.New Picture (6)

Heaving another sigh, he finally sat down to watch TV. As he stretched out his legs, he felt something was amiss. The stool where he rested his drinks and chips was not there by the side. P had to get up again. This time he had to go into the hallway and grab the potted plant that had greeted him on entering the house. He took it to the garden and then collected the stool on which it had been resting in the hallway and restored it to its normal place. There were further adjustments of the furniture, TV stand and curtains to his liking and finally, P was able to stretch out to his comfort in the easy chair and watch TV. The house looked nearly what it was like before his sister came, but there still remained some more shuffling around that had to be done. His way of having his things around may certainly not be beautiful, but to him it was more comfortable… Tired, P sighed and wished “Only if I could let things be as my sister had left them… or… only if I had the nerve to tell my sister, without hurting her sentiments, to let things be”….

Needing experience to gain experience…

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P applied for several jobs after he graduated,

To earn a living and gain some experience;

And his experience certainly escalated

As he applied himself to the job of applying to the jobs;

His patience was tried as regret letters accumulated,

It seemed that to get a job and experience, he had to have the experience.

Oh, the Irony!

 

Samsung’s Swan Song

Return Address

Yesterday, your pet/baby/inanimate object could read your post. Today, they can write back. Write a post from their point of view (or just pick any non-verbal creature/object)- Daily Prompt

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I asked you to get me cyber fame,

But you went on to denigrate my name;

Thought I wouldn’t read your blog?

 Idiocy, your brain must clog,

Literate for a day, I read all you had to say.

 

Through your misuse, I am now battered,

My cell heart is now nearly shattered;

Take better care of me to have the charge last longer,

Or, get me a heart transplant with a battery stronger;

It won’t be free, you’ll need to dish out some cash.

 

I know you don’t have much left in your wallet,

It complains when we sit, squashed in your pocket;

About your phone credit, please stop moaning,

Use it wisely, and talk less when roaming;

And for chats with your neighbour, can’t you just walk next door?

 

Beautiful models would certainly entice you,

But bring one home and you’ll soon rue;

Their touch screens won’t like your rough finger stroke,

Texting won’t be easy, the way you poke,

And to use all their apps, you’ won’t have a clue.

 

You are better off with me if you keep me happy,

Stop dropping me on the hard floor, handle me gently;

Don’t sit on me or sleep on me, recharge and keep my energy high;

With a good clean, I would even be pleasing to the eye

And I do hope this is not the swan song of this Samsung!

 

Samsung concluded: “Whatever be the case, whether you stick with me or go after one of those other beauties, please be kind to your vocal chords. It isn’t that you have to shout ‘Hello’ and talk at the top of your voice to make the other person, your next door neighbour or someone overseas, hear you.”

Verses for the cell phone…

Literate for a Day

Someone or something you can’t communicate with through writing (a baby, a pet, an object) can understand every single word you write today, for one day only. What do you tell them? —Daily Prompt

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P felt his mobile phone vibrate and he picked it out of his pocket to see if he had any incoming messages. He jumped out of his skin when the phone shouted a loud “Hello…” at him.

P: Hello! …Who’s that?

Cell phone: It’s me, Samsung.

P: Is that you my old Samsung?  Are you talking to me? Can you hear me? What a surprise!

Cell phone: WordPress has given me the powers to read… just for today… Using those powers, I read the codes inside my body and acquired the technique of talking as well! You are always shouting ‘Hello… Hello’ at me. I thought I’d do that to you today so you’ll know what it feels like, having all the talk and Hellos shouted in your face in a loud voice.

P: Awwww! I’m sorry if I have been a nuisance. But it’s awesome that you can now communicate! Simply cool! So tell me why WordPress has made you literate?

Cell phone: The people at WordPress must have thought that it is high time that you appreciated my services to you. So come on, post something in praise of me! Let me get some cyber fame!

P: At your service my phone… Here’s my ode to you…

 

 

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You may think humans are just your thralls,

But let important talks be finished

Before you ask that funds be replenished;

Waiting for a minute or an hour even,

Your charms, for sure, will not lessen

If you are only not so monetarily driven!

 

Constant companion, in my pocket you travel,

Jeans or pants, no matter what the apparel;

You sleep by my side, plugged into a socket;

I’m only human and sometimes may forget

To charge your reserves, but it would be nice,

If you have a battery that never dies

And calls may not be missed by the device.

 

And when at times you do disappear

I’m thrown into panic, I hold you so dear;

I am so used to having you around,

To you I am now totally bound,

Connecting me with friends and all I love

While all over the globe I may rove;

Do cancel roaming charges, as goodwill it may behove.

 

Models of Motorola, Nokia and LG,

Modern and stunning, tried to allure me;

Faithfully so long, I stuck to my old Samsung,

Your praises will certainly not go unsung;

But I sometimes wish your keyboard was qwerty,

It would have helped my texting, I’m so quirky;

Also, a touch screen would have been perky.

 

I need more apps in you, to tell you the truth;

A nicer camera, Wi-Fi and Bluetooth

To take pictures and upload my Blog post,

For NaBloPoMo and prompts of the Daily Post;

Now ‘Selfies’, I learn, are the current rage

I’d like to take some and post on my Facebook page,

So if I get a new phone, please don’t take umbrage;

It would pain me terribly Samsung, if you now burst into a swan song…

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