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The Quirky Life of P

Humor and satire revolving around Mr P- a fictional mix of an avatar of Mr Bean and the veritable Bertram Wooster of Wodehouse fame.

Archive for the category “Blogging”

Be kind to humanity…

Cue the Violins: If your life were a movie, what would its soundtrack be like? What songs, instrumental pieces, and other sound effects would be featured on the official soundtrack album?- Daily Prompt

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New Picture (15)It’s a pain that the music that P plays,

On his violin on his most happy days,

Is a cacophony of howls and brays,

And if he sings along, the music frays

Your nerves, you pull your hair in a craze!

 

On sad days it’s like a banshee’s wail,

The noise drills your eardrums like a nail,

Chills in your spine will put malaria to the pale,

It makes the neighbourhood rail.

P even gets threats in his mail!

 

New Picture (14)In summer if you open your window,

To let in the breeze and some air flow,

A headache will soon hit your brow,

In the simmering heat like another blow,

As the violin practice proceeds, its intensity will grow.

 

In the monsoon, muffling the thunder and rain,

With off-key notes so loud, even earplugs are in vain;

P’s violin drives everybody insane;

Even the cat next door rolls in pain.

So folks, P’s music in your movie will be your bane!

 

If any one’s life were a movie

Please let the background music be

Anything other than what P

Plays on his violin, in gloom or glee.

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From Caterpillar to Butterfly…

Salad Days: Is there a period in your own personal life that you think of as the good old days? Tell us a story about those innocent and/or exciting times (or lack thereof).- Daily Prompt

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P was reminiscing on

His salad days gone by,

And how like a caterpillar

That morphed into a butterfly,

From a carefree and spritely tot,

He had now grown to a man.

 

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Those balmy days he didn’t have to worry

For food on his table, and he voraciously ate

The meat, eggs, potatoes, and anything sweet,

But he fretted about salads on his plate,

As he dreaded the thought to eat or meet

A caterpillar hiding in the greens… he shuddered at the fate!

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Home run…

 

New Picture (7)Golden Key You’ve been given a key that can open one building, room, locker, or box to which you don’t normally have access. How do you use it, and why?- Daily Prompt

WordPress would you kindly

Give P a key that need not be

Golden or that opens the gates

To heavens or bank vaults

Or secret doors and boxes of treasures.

 

Many a time P gets himself

Locked out when he forgets

To have his house key with him

The door then shuts and auto locks

And he is left out stranded.

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He needs a key that magically

Appears in his hands

Every time this happens.

He just needs it to enter his home

Without calling a locksmith each time.

It’s such a drain on his wallet!

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(See earlier post P becomes listless…https://avatarofmrbean.wordpress.com/2014/06/01/p-becomes-listless/)

 

 

P.S. And he would certainly appreciate a key that opens the door to eternal happiness too! That would surely be a home run!

A stone that could melt your heart

By Hand What’s the best present you’ve ever received that was handmade by the giver, not store-bought? Tell us what made it so special.- Daily Prompt

 

P was looking after Dennis, his neighbours’ little boy, again that Friday as they went on some urgent errands.

Dennis: “Mr P, why don’t you have any pets?”

P: “I’d like to have a cat or dog as a pet Dennis, but you see, I’m only renting this house and the landlord had insisted on no pets.”

Dennis: “Not even some gold-fish?”

P:  “Goldfish may not be a problem to the landlord. I did try keeping goldfish, but they all died on me… You know I’m so quirky, I don’t want to have pets that will die on me. I hated pets dying on me when I was a kid”…

And P changed the subject with some talk about cartoons and football…

The next day, was a Saturday and P was hoping to devote it fully to some reading, TV watching and general lazing about. As soon as he finished his brunch, he was about to go back to bed with a book when he heard a small knock on his door. P went and opened it to see Dennis there, with a small cardboard box.

Dennis: “Mr P, I have brought you a pet…”

P: “Oh Dennis, you should not have… I can’t keep a mouse or a small animal… I may not be able to look after it well and it may soon die…

Dennis: “Don’t worry Mr P, this pet won’t die… You won’t even have to feed it or wash it”

P was curious. He took the box from Dennis and opened it…

A pair of painted eyes looked at him from the box…

Dennis: “It is a pet rock, Mr P. I made him for you.”

Pet rock

The little boy had taken a grey, flattened, oblong shaped rock and had painted a face on it and made it colourful with some spots of paint.  P was touched. He realised that even stones could melt his heart. His Adam’s apple wobbled as he tried to control his emotions.

Dennis: “Can we build a pet rock house for him today and then he can bring Mrs Pet Rock and their children too?”…

That was the end of P’s lazy Saturday…

That bright, crispy morning…

Trio no. 4 Today you can write about anything, in whatever genre or form, but your post must include a speeding car, a phone call, and a crisp, bright morning. (Wildcard: you can swap any of the above for a good joke.) – Daily Prompt

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The air was chilly and crisp but it was a bright morning.  Winter was over and nature seemed to revel as sunlight danced on the leaves in the trees, and bounced off from the windscreen as P drove in his shiny red car. He had an hour to get to the meeting that Chris had arranged with a prospective employer. There was plenty of time and P had decided to take the long, scenic drive to get to his destination. P was in a reverie, listening to Hariharan’s ‘Walking in the moonlight’…

The shrill ringing tones of his phone brought him back to the sunny morning from walking in the moonlight and listening to the raindrops… He stopped the car at the kerb and answered the call. It was his neighbour, Chris…

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Chris: “Where the hell are you?”

P: “Driving to Glenelg. Did you forget about the meeting you had arranged?”

Chris: “I haven’t forgotten about the meeting, but I think you have. John rang me just now, saying he had waited for you for twenty minutes and that you haven’t turned up…”

P: “Well, the meeting is only at 9 am and I am on my way. Should be there in another forty minutes”

Chris: “The meeting WAS at 9 am and it is now twenty minutes past nine! Did you adjust your clock last night?”

P: “You mean, set my alarm? Of course I did and that’s why I am well on time now.”

Chris: “You are not well on time. You are late! I was talking about changing the day light savings time!”

A flabbergasted P realised that he had not changed the clock the previous night and he was late for his interview! “Day light savings” had not crossed his mind as he had wondered at how the morning had seemed to be sunny and bright, despite the chilly, crispness in the air.

A squirrel that had wandered down to the kerb, was frightened to scurry up the nearby jacaranda tree, as P revved up his engines and his car sped towards Glenelg…

Blood is thicker than water…

Oil, Meet Water

Of the people who are close to you, who is the person most unlike you? What makes it possible for you to get along?

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One cannot possibly expect

Anyone to look like P,

Or walk, talk and think like him,

As P is quirky in every respect!

 

Of all the people close to him,

In looks and total personality,

In thoughts and general disposition,

His sister is most unlike P.

 

Yet, he loves his sis and she loves him;

She could read his thoughts and he could hers,

And iron out their differences,

No grudge is left, then to nurse.

 

Like two sides of the same coin,

The differences do not matter

With the same worth of human values;

They get along like bread and butter;

May be, blood is thicker than water.

All the time…

No Time to Waste

Fill in the blank: “Life is too short to _____.” Now, write a post telling us how you’ve come to that conclusion. – Daily Prompt

 

P feels:

Life is too short, to worry about the past,

Or brood on what could have been,

Or fret on things that can’t change or last;

Yet at times, anxiety strikes unseen

And into deep despair, he is cast.

 

But a driving dose of Les Brown

And inspiring quotes, quite upbeat,

Then from his face, take off the frown

And get him back on his feet;

In melancholy, he refuses to drown.

 

Though to a quote by Stendhal, he cannot pay heed,

When he yawns and nods off on a balmy day;

For of haste, or hurry, he finds no need,

As he listens and watches sweet nature in play;

Time stands still, there’s all the time in the world indeed…

 

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P was heart-broken with all the rejection letters he was getting from his job applications. He put his feet up on the foot stool and stretched out on the deck chair in the verandah, ruminating on his efforts at finding a job (See https://avatarofmrbean.wordpress.com/2014/11/08/needing-experience-to-gain-experience/…). His coffee stood neglected on a side table. He was feeling very downhearted, considering that he once did have a job that he had left on a foolish whim to travel and see other parts of the world. He kept thinking on how things would have turned out only if he hadn’t been so impulsive. Was he wrong in thinking that life is too short to spend it just slogging away at work, not seeing other parts of this earth?

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He was slowly spiralling down into a whirlpool of self blame and depression when he remembered what a good friend used to tell him. He often used to say that P was rich! P’s bank balance was only a couple of dollars then, but George told him that he considered P to be very rich…  in life experiences… and that in China, they believed that when you die, your soul does not take anything with it, other than your experiences!

P tried to convince himself once again, as he muttered to himself that life is too short to spend brooding about the past.

His spirits slowly lifted up as he opened his laptop, and a whole lot of quotes on “Life is too short….” showed up on his search.

“Life is too short to work so hard” by Vivien Leigh,  was the one that he could very well connect with. It gave him the perfect excuse for having quit his job to see the world! That was not a foolish thing to do at all!

“Life is too short to worry about anything. You had better enjoy it because the next day promises nothing” by Eric Davis, was the other quote that made him take a conscious effort to shake off his melancholy.

“Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger” by Channing Tatum, tantalised P, but he decided to settle for the home-made coffee rather than drive to the nearest McDonald’s.

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“Life is too short to not savour every moment of it,” muttered P as he swirled his cup of coffee, inhaled in its aroma and took a little sip, savouring its flavour.

Slowly sipping his coffee, he relaxed totally in his deck chair, looking out into the garden where bees were humming amidst the lavender blooms  and flowers, and butterflies were flitting happily. A couple of magpies were watching something from their perch on the fence. He could even hear a kookaburra laughing, up above on a gum tree. He now felt he had all the time in the world ….

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P yawned and slowly nodded off in the balmy afternoon. His laptop was still open, showing a quote he had missed – “Life is too short, and the time we waste in yawning never can be regained.” by Stendhal

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