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The Quirky Life of P

Humor and satire revolving around Mr P- a fictional mix of an avatar of Mr Bean and the veritable Bertram Wooster of Wodehouse fame.

Archive for the category “Humour and Satire”

P’s tears flow….

P had a box of tissues handy to wipe his flowing tears. P’s heart was breaking, looking at what was going on…..

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P felt he needed some dope,

Or he wouldn’t cope;

Though not end life on a rope,

He would sit around and mope;

For answers he might grope,

But he couldn’t see any hope!

Could he change the situation? Nope!

For how could he alter things in a TV soap?

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P gets stuck with a P…… word

P had nothing to write on the daily prompt;

This one word had him stomped;

For words with the meaning of plunder,

He was determined to keep asunder

From his life, simple and quirky

And even from his vocabulary!

 

P’s neighbour: “Hey P, it’s good to see you tending to your garden. What’s up?”

P: “Well, the Daily prompt today was a word that I don’t gel with and I decided to give it a miss. So I had some time on my hands…”

P’s neighbour: “Good! At least now you will be able to get rid of all those overgrown weeds. They are not only sore on the eyes but the pests and vermin they harbour come over the fence and pillage my herbs and sprouts…”

P rushes back inside his home even without a goodbye, to turn on his laptop and go to his blog….

P takes refuge in music

It’s not that P does not like to mix with people. In fact he loves interacting with people. But there are times when P wants to retreat into his den and lick his wounds when life deals him some of those staggering blows. At such times P does not like to have visitors who came to offer their condolences. Perhaps they thought it comforted him but P felt it drained him more to listen to their commiserations. The one strategy he developed to tide over these situations was to get his violin out and play some mournful melodies……..

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A social being, P enjoyed company;

But at times he preferred solitude

To hide in his den and lick his wounds;

To muse and dwell on life’s vagaries

And quietly laze in his retreat,

Till all mended he could face the world again.

But friends and relatives would come calling,

To comfort, commiserate or maybe even gloat;

This often seemed to get his goat;

But all was good when in music he took refuge;

For, as soon as his violin started to wail,

His guests beat a retreat without fail.

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A standing ovation? His unrealized dream!

Moody times

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The sky was dark, overcast and grey

As the sun was brooding behind the clouds;

Raindrops dripped, thunder rumbled,

The wind threw a tantrum with the window panes.

 

P couldn’t help be moody; it was such a gloomy day;

Though the clime was to blame he could hardly say;

With the weather and the traffic jam he was late for his date

And she had simply driven off with his best mate.

 

Aside: Of course P makes it a habit of being  late…

Gone Fishing…

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Anyone who knew P well was convinced he was good at fishing. Often when  he was away from work, there was a note stuck on the door of his office which said “Gone fishing….” But…

Many a time P had gone fishing

And come home without any catch;

To bait the hook, he kept forgetting;

The fish were sharper, more than his match!

 

All he ever caught was once when he pulled in the reel,

Out came a soggy shoe hanging by its lace!

Another time a tug from something live he could feel,

Was a puffer fish, P let him go when it pouted up its face.

 

Yet P never thought of giving up the fine sport of fishing;

He loved to sit with legs dangling down the side of the pier;

With homing birds in the crimson sky, the sun slowly setting,

His reel idling in the rippling waters, the breeze caressing his hair.

 

Something seemed to soothe him then:

His catch didn’t matter, nor the past or the future;

It was like meditation or serene and calming Zen

As he blended in blissfully with Mother Nature…

P finds his place…

Reblogging this post that was previously published for a daily prompt as it is relevant to the theme “finding your place“.

 

From India P flew to New Zealand,newzlnd-2-copy

Looking for a better life;

Endured the cold  in the south, but

Earthquakes shook his sanity.austr1-copy

Ferrying across the Tasman he then

Landed down in Australia;

Emus and roos were endearing,

Employment, though, was hard to find.aus3-copy

Friends and foes suggested he

Left for a share of the American Pie;

Excitedly he flew to the United States but

Entry was denied, Immigration threw him out.usa1-copy

Fleeing to India he found his place;

Losing itchy feet and all bravado,

Eventually he progressed so spiritually;

Everything, he now believes, was simply meant to be.

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A mantra for absentmindedness

He bent down on all fours and peered under the bed. It was not there. He checked under the cushions, on the sofa and searched with his fingers in the gaps in between but was disappointed. P then took a moment to mentally track what he had exactly done on getting home with his shopping last evening.

untitled-1-copyBoth his hands had been loaded with his shopping bags that he had taken from the boot of the car and he had barely managed to open the door to enter the house. He had dumped his shopping on the dining table as was his usual way and had then stretched out on the sofa to watch some TV. It was only much later that he had unpacked and sorted out his shopping after which he had had his dinner and retired to bed.

But now it was quite late in the morning and although he was dressed and ready to leave for work on time, he could not find his car keys. He had searched everywhere in the house and had even gone through the grocery he had bought the previous day but the car keys had simply vanished. He did not wish to lose his job again and only if he could find the key in time, the situation could still be saved. He could then get to work even if a little late and sneak into his seat without alerting his boss

.untitled-2-copyFate however seemed to be conspiring against him. The key had mysteriously disappeared and P was nearly in tears with frustration and worry. Frantically he searched through the ledges of a book shelf which housed several spiritual and mystical books that he had collected over the years to help him in his inward quests. He had not bothered to read them and had only kept them dusted once in a while. His anxious and fumbling hands dislodged some books and one fell on the floor. P picked it up to put it back in its place. The book was one that he had borrowed from the library and it was all about mantras and mystical powers. P was quite in the habit of turning to God and the mystical when everything else failed.

However the only mantra P knew was “Om” and as a last resort, he decided to go to the car and try it out. He put his hand on the door handle on the driver’s side and pulled it. It opened magically. Excitedly P got in and sat on the driver’s seat. He held the steering wheel tightly with his fingers and closed his eyes. He then ran his hand down the side of the steering wheel and P muttered a loud “Om” as magically his fingers touched the car keys lodged in the slot there! P could never decide whether it was his mystical mantra or his absentmindedness that had brought the key to its slot in the car! It was all such a mystery!

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